Oskar hade hon varit otrogen mot endast en gång, och det var innan bröllopet. Han kallade henne tjock och sa att Lina inte skulle få plats i brudklänningen. Hon blev sårad, så hon drog med sina väninnor till en klubb. Hon drack sig full, vaknade i en okänd lägenhet med en blåögd snygging. Det kändes fruktansvärt pinsamt! Hon sa inget till Oskar, förlät honom på direkten för alla oförrätter och började till och med banta. Att sluta dricka var inte svårt, speciellt när hon snart fick reda på att hon var gravid, så det fanns en bra anledning att avstå.
Dottern föddes i tid, en underbar blåögd flicka som Oskar älskade över allt annat. I fem år intalade sig Lina att allt var i sin ordning, och att dotterns blå ögon kom från svärfar som också hade det. Ja, hon var lockig, och vad med det? Hon försökte förgäves glömma den lockige killen vars namn hon inte ens kom ihåg. Men något djupt inuti hennes modershjärta sa att flickan kanske inte var Oskars. Kanske var det därför hon förlät honom allt: nattliga meddelanden, frekventa affärsresor, ständig missnöje med hennes utseende och matlagning. Flickan behövde en familj: hon älskade sin pappa, och vilka män är inte otrogna?
“Uttråkad du är, var skulle du ta vägen?” sa mamma. “Här hemma, vet du ju, finns det ingen plats, mormor ligger till sängs, och din bror har en flickvän, var ska jag ha alla er? Jag sa ju att du inte skulle skriva över lägenheten på svärmor, men nu står du där med lång näsa!”
Lina bet ihop. Men det hjälpte inte, och en dag lämnade Oskar henne ändå. Han sa att han träffat en annan, han grät till och med och lovade att alltid vara Lisas far, men han kunde inte gå emot sina känslor. Hans mor som brukade vara välkomnande mot barnbarnet, sa efter skilsmässan:
“Gör ett faderskapstest, kanske du betalar underhåll för någon annans barn!”
Lina kallsvettades; hon trodde att hon var den enda med sådana misstankar. Tydligen inte.
“Är du galen?” ropade Oskar. “Lisa är min dotter, det är så självklart att man inte ens behöver se!”
Svärmor misstänkte inte förgäves, för när Lina hamnade på sjukhus med blindtarmsinflammation ett år efter skilsmässan och såg ett igenkänt ansikte, försvann alla hennes tvivel när hon såg de blå ögonen ovanför ansiktsmasken.
“Ursäkta, har vi inte träffats förut?” frågade kirurgen.
Lina skakade vilt på huvudet och hoppades att han inte skulle minnas. Men han mindes, för nästa dag skämtade han under ronden:
“Jag hoppas du inte flyr så snabbt som förra gången?”
Lina blev röd som en tomat. Och hon bestämde sig för att lämna sjukhuset så snart som möjligt. Men det hon inte hade räknat med var att under de dagar hon varit där hade Max lyckats få henne att inte vilja fly längre.
Hon berättade inget om dottern, nämnde endast att hon hade en, men inte ett ord om faderskapet.
Max räknade ut allt själv den första dagen han såg flickan. Han var nervös, köpte en docka och ställde Lina dussintals frågor för att uppföra sig rätt.
“Du förstår,” sa han, “när jag och min syster var små, träffade mamma en man som hon verkligen älskade, men min syster accepterade honom aldrig så mamma var tvungen att avsluta det. Jag vill inte att det ska bli så, jag vill vara en andra pappa för din dotter.”
Av bara de orden fick Lina ont i magen. Och när han kom in och såg flickan blev han förstummad i några sekunder och tittade förvirrat på Lina, det blev klart: han förstod också.
“Vad spelar det för roll,” tänkte Lina. “Förr eller senare måste han få veta ändå.”
Lina, schooled by her marriage, was prepared for accusations and shouts. But when they were alone, Max hugged her tightly and whispered: “What a miracle this is!”
Initially, Lisa seemed to be okay with Max. But when Lina carefully asked her daughter if she was okay with Max living with them, she cried and said:
“I thought dad would come back to us! Let Max live somewhere else.”
In the end, Lina convinced her, but Max was very upset.
“But she is still my daughter! You have to tell them!”
“Oskar couldn’t handle it. Neither could Lisa. For her, he is her dad, and for Oskar, she is the only daughter. I guess his new lady can’t have children. At least that’s what we my mother-in-law said.”
Max was offended, Lisa threw tantrums, and Lina put all her effort into maintaining peace in their peculiar family. In the end, they had certain rules, which helped navigate between the two people they loved: she took Lisa to Oskar herself, keeping the men from meeting, and never left Lisa alone with Max, as they would certainly quarrel. She was like a translator between them. Even on Women’s Day, she helped Lisa make a card, fearing that she would say something to Max, and he couldn’t take it and would tell her the truth.
And then Lina became pregnant. She was terrified. She feared the second child would look just like Lisa, and Oskar would figure it all out, feared Lisa would be jealous and even angrier with Max, and feared that Max would use the situation to tell Lisa everything while she was in the hospital.
She arranged with her mother to take care of Lisa during the birth. Mom agreed, even though she already had two children at home (her brother had managed to provide her with grandchildren), but it didn’t work out that way: a day before Lina went into labor, her mother ended up in hospital with gallstones. Her stepdad refused to take care of a third child, and her brother and his wife were working all day. Lina decided to take her daughter to Oskar. But the problem was: he was on a work trip, and she really didn’t want to turn to her mother-in-law.
“What, can’t I handle my own daughter?” Max was offended.
This birth was much harder for Lina: not only did she have to have a C-section, then spend extra time at the hospital because their son had jaundice, but also at home was a ticking time bomb! Max reassured that everything was okay, though her daughter refused to speak with her, and Lina was terribly anxious. “He must have told her,” she thought.
She wrongfully shared her story with neighbors, who insisted she should tell everyone the truth, arguing that secrets always come out in the end and Lina would pay for her lies. Encouraged by her neighbors and softened by the oxytocin, she called Oskar and said:
“I need to confess something.”
“About what?”
She was silent for a while, gathering courage.
“Is it about Lisa?”
“What about Lisa?” Lina was frightened, even though she had intended to tell him everything.
“That she’s not mine. I know.”
“Did Max tell you?” Lina was shocked.
“I’ve known for a while, calm down. When she was a year old, I took a test. Before I went to the military, the doctors said I couldn’t have children. I kept silent, hoped for a miracle, and thought, there it was. But then I started doubting. My mom too… So I checked.”
“But… How…”
Lina couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that he had kept silent for all these years.
“What should I have done?” he snapped. “The girl’s not to blame, right? And don’t you dare tell her! I’ve tolerated all this not to be left without a child.”
There you have it, Midsummer’s Day indeed!
At the discharge, Lina felt like herself: she watched both her daughter and Max. Both of them acted strangely: exchanging glances and keeping silent.
“So, how was it without me?” Lina asked nervously once their son fell asleep, and Lisa started drawing.
“It was all well! You’ve been guarding her forever, without you we managed quickly.”
“Did you tell her?”
“Of course not! You forbade it.”
“I did. Then why is she so gloomy?”
Max smiled slyly.
“Well, ask her yourself.”
Lina went into the girl’s room. Lisa, with her tongue out in concentration, was coloring something red. Lina came closer and squinted. The drawing showed three adults and two children.
“Who are these?” she asked.
“Isn’t it clear? You, dad, Max, and us with Villy.”
“Very nice.”
“Yeah. Mamma! Do you think a person can have two dads?”
“It seems so – Max told her!”
“Well… that happens,” she answered cautiously.
“Then can I call Max dad too? He’s nice. We built a LEGO castle together and went to see the fish. There’s such a funny salesman, an old man in a hat. He asked what my dad did for a living. And I didn’t know what to say because he was asking about Max. And I said he was a doctor. Isn’t it cool to have a dad who’s a doctor? I already asked him, but I thought I’d check with you too.”
A lump rose in her throat. Lina suddenly realized what a trap she had gotten herself into. Oskar forgave her, and Max would. But if Lisa found out the truth one day… It was time to decide: to tell now or face the consequences later. Lina hugged her daughter and whispered:
“Of course, you can. I think Max would be happy if you called him dad. But don’t tell this to papa…”
